I think I just saw someone hide a body.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
