dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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