I hate all girls vehemently.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
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