i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
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Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
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I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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