When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
