I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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