sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
