Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize