Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
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Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
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And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
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