i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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