YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
