Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
