I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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