The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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