Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Sober January is a disaster.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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