You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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