The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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