I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
