I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
