This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
