Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
