Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
