She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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