im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
