I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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