i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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