This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
