you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
They have beer where we have blood.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
