why didn't you poke me back
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
