your room smells of hookers.
And success
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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