is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
