haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
