"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
