there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
