I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
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