after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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