I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
