R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
