My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
