Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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