So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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