My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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