My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
