no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
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