I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize