i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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