i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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