There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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