Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
