your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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