He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Randomize
