Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
