the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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