I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize