For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
