A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
