my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
foreskin is a definite game changer
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
