This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
