Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
