Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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